Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Online | Search for a member

plaguer

3Liked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7026
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:04am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:16pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:44pm<b>brittany310</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:56am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:37am<b>Celeden</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:11am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:34pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:25am<b>Arni792</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>steve1122</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:13am<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>arano</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:53pm

Liked!<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (4369)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (4516)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34051) - you deserved it (3760)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (10216)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2234)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (9399)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (2642)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (8396)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (14934)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39545) - you deserved it (4260)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

#17108827
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9244) - you deserved it (55278)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (21826)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

#17068940
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (22966)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: