Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Online | Search for a member

plaguer

15Fucked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9794
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About plaguer : Message me for my 3DS friend code. My dog is part reindeer, part fox.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - 13 hours ago<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:23am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:05pm<b>emilyh7689</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:07pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>joco4</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:43pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:43pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:34am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:01pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:20pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:54pm<b>graceamace</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:36am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:04pm<b>gh0st0110</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:24pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:10am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:41pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:22pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:05pm<b>emilyh7689</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:43pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:12pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:24pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:11am<b>JordanODST</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:40am<b>slumd0g</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:43am<b>killjoyx</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:14am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:16pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (4332)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (3746)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (56074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (27119)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (2160)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (40399)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (59109) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21165) - you deserved it (50967)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40336) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (26109)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (39553)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (9820)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: