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plaguer

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 4:50am) | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4398
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gpins24</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:13am<b>ImRJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:28am<b>JustJumped</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:39pm<b>batman342</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Gamerhex</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:28am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:27am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Adm_Twigs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:42am<b>bismuth</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:04am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:52pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:16pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:53am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:09pm

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30447) - you deserved it (5180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30447) - you deserved it (5180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (5979)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23894) - you deserved it (14776)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54841) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34253) - you deserved it (6050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (3644)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (2578)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (2143)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (9370)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (8154)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42948) - you deserved it (14367)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



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