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plaguer

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plaguer

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plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5489
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:13pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:55am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:07am<b>dreamsofdisney</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:39pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:06am<b>vaxc</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:01pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:13pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:45am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>youremyhouse</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:42am<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:36pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>lpaz</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:16am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:10am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:44am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:49pm

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (22224)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (3859)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62547) - you deserved it (4628)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

#18135493
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (12451)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (2644)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (4142)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65158) - you deserved it (3930)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (5189) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (5189) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29298) - you deserved it (5988)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (15049)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55758) - you deserved it (5498)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML



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