Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5152
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>Zman2017</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>youremyhouse</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:42am<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:36pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>lpaz</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:16am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:10am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:44am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:49pm<b>De_Belgian</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:24pm<b>silentseries</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:01pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:22am<b>shaboooopi</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:06pm<b>pisseatdick</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:57am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gpins24</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:13am

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (9449)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (5548)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28219) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

#19157745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (6187)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:04am - love - by michellemoyah (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you deserved it (55146)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9396) - you deserved it (32631)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10064) - you deserved it (34670) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11741) - you deserved it (37330)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11741) - you deserved it (37330)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (4059)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (5862)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

#19082479
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (2589)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (8694) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: