Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Online | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5542
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:13pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:55am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:07am<b>dreamsofdisney</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:39pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:06am<b>vaxc</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:01pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:13pm<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:45am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>youremyhouse</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:42am<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:36pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>lpaz</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:16am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:10am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:44am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:49pm

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (9455)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (5552)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (5116)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

#19157745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (6190)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:04am - love - by michellemoyah (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (55178)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (32662)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10073) - you deserved it (34692) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (37358)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (37358)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (4059)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (5862)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

#19082479
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (5117)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: