About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog's name is Bowser.
plaguer's FML badges
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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You've liked someone. How cute!
plaguer's favorite FMLs
by stevenr579 / 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by damnthedog / 01/19/2013 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by hiccups / 01/13/2013 at 1:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
- Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,…
- Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…