Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

plaguer

3Liked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6580
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>MrFloooo</b> - yesterday at 10:56am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:37am<b>Celeden</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:11am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:34pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:25am<b>Arni792</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>steve1122</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:13am<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>arano</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:53pm<b>kellilynn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:47pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:24am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:04am<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:30pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:46pm

Liked!<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (39645)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (4211)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (4257)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (4805)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (2858)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (15102)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (3317)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

#19756673
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (1659)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (4588)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (4232)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16354) - you deserved it (6785)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (4030)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (3498)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: