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plaguer
  • Town/Country : Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 3253
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. You can kik me if you think you can beat me at Mario. Same username.

plaguer's last visitors

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plaguer's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (6439)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (2466)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (38061) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you deserved it (25580)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51478) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (43104)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12047) - you deserved it (21754)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34315)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (4441)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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