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plaguer

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 4:50am) | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4425
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>pisseatdick</b> - yesterday at 1:57am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:41pm<b>gpins24</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:13am<b>ImRJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:28am<b>JustJumped</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:39pm<b>batman342</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Gamerhex</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:28am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:27am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Adm_Twigs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:42am<b>bismuth</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:04am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:52pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:16pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:53am

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

#19756673
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27983) - you deserved it (1646)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (4569)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (6760)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3949)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (3540)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (2510)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14193) - you deserved it (51181) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (1854)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (36687)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (54050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (47391)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12963) - you deserved it (23103)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (35799)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)



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