Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

plaguer

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

plaguer

3Liked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7088
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:04am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Trace01m</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:16pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:44pm<b>brittany310</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:56am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:37am<b>Celeden</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:11am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:03pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:34pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:25am<b>Arni792</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:53pm<b>steve1122</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:13am<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>arano</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:53pm

Liked!<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (11635)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I askd my grlfriend to talk drty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you deserved it (9044)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." real FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today,hile out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice fir her !! Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it thehole time, just likehen I pick up my cat !! FML

Yesterday, mah laziness reachd an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school an had spilld all the contents of mah backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of mah sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in mah dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (9936)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today , I Saw A Pair Of Eyes Looking At Me From My Closet . Realizing It Must Be My Cat , I Calld Her . She Immediately Cummd Out From Under My Bd . I Can't Find Anything In My Closet . FML

#21155508
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61196) - you deserved it (4735)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today... I told my grlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47844) - you deserved it (6597)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah friend announcd that she'd lost wieght recently. As I was congratulating her, mah baby sister said, ( I think you're still fat but that's good cuz you can give more meat to Godhen you go to heaven. ) Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (5320)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today , I was glud to the toilet all day , gushing fountains of crap , due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (10525)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one riphile tending to an older patient at the nursing homehere I work . The patient passed away shortly thereafter . Coincidence? FML

#21116703
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (6687)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I Took Mah Kids To An Easter Party Hosted By A Local Church. The Nice Lady In Charge Told The Kids, ( Jesus Died, But He Rose To Life Again! ) My 9 Year Old Screamed, ( LIKE A ZOMBIE! ) Big Fat FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (7974)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY,ILE PLAYING BASKETBALL , MA FRIEND TANKED ME 4 PASSING TE BALL TO IM. I WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO TELL IM TAT TAT WAS ME SOOTING. FML

#21106910
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (4588)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunc , ma broter and I started walking back to ma car. Halfway tere , we were jumped , treatened wit a knife , and yelled at to and over our money. Te only ting ma broter could do was ask our mugger , "U , wat gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (3381)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: