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plaguer

Offline (the 01/19/2014 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

plaguer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4113
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>bismuth</b> - 10 hours ago<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - 22 hours ago<b>kubackster</b> - yesterday at 6:18pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:16pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:53am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:09pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:38pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:20am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:39am<b>lb562</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:10pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>danniKay214</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:42am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:41am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Food2Abs</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:16am<b>michhreinders</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:49am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:39pm<b>unotrea</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:45pm

plaguer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (4336)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58488) - you deserved it (3808)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56912) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68706) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (11102)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (3908)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63135) - you deserved it (14379)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (4130)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40860) - you deserved it (3365)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49136) - you deserved it (5264)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (7019)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (10898)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60369) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53396) - you deserved it (7498)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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