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About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
today as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.
Today,hile out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice fir her !! Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it thehole time, just likehen I pick up my cat !! FML
Yesterday, mah laziness reachd an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school an had spilld all the contents of mah backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of mah sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in mah dream. FML
Today, mah friend announcd that she'd lost wieght recently. As I was congratulating her, mah baby sister said, ( I think you're still fat but that's good cuz you can give more meat to Godhen you go to heaven. ) Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML
Today , I was glud to the toilet all day , gushing fountains of crap , due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I Took Mah Kids To An Easter Party Hosted By A Local Church. The Nice Lady In Charge Told The Kids, ( Jesus Died, But He Rose To Life Again! ) My 9 Year Old Screamed, ( LIKE A ZOMBIE! ) Big Fat FML
Today , I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunc , ma broter and I started walking back to ma car. Halfway tere , we were jumped , treatened wit a knife , and yelled at to and over our money. Te only ting ma broter could do was ask our mugger , "U , wat gender are you?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015