plaguer

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plaguer

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plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11173
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog's name is Bowser. I'm not naked in that first picture, sorry.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:03pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 11:33am<b>whydough</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:56am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Cocoapelli</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 2:59pm<b>arkh_angel</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 1:02pm<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 10:18am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:19am<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:30am<b>sawtooth</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 1:51am<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 12:52am<b>smallandroid</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 12:35am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:33pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:09pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 7:21pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:13pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:35pm<b>strider1987</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:24pm

Fucked!<b>nicolai44</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 11:24pm<b>Cocoapelli</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 8:59pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:18pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:03am<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:20am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:48pm<b>sugarshugar</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:29pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:29pm<b>tengo</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:29am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:38pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 8:20am<b>SpawnofAthena</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:51am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:53pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 6:53am<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:22am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 5:27pm

plaguer's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in 3 months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML

by not even / 07/21/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

by MATTY2512 / 07/13/2016 at 2:13pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML

by ihatebeingacashier / 07/11/2016 at 5:06pm / Work

Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML

by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

by sydcaller618 / 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML

by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

by Urinator / 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Animals

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

by Queen LaQueefah / 09/13/2015 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

by princeronron / 09/07/2015 at 10:02pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Animals

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy