About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog is part reindeer, part fox.
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plaguer's favorite FMLs
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
by sydcaller618 / 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
by Urinator / 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Animals
by Queen LaQueefah / 09/13/2015 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML
by princeronron / 09/07/2015 at 10:02pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…