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plague_rat's favorite FMLs
Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML
by ........................... / 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love
by foreveralone / 07/23/2013 at 5:51am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML
by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
by hannahisacooler / 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by leeceetaylor99 / 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 7:26am / United States / Love
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…