pizzaboterham

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pizzaboterham

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2352
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About pizzaboterham : I've got no idea what to write here, so I'm not going to write anything at all. Oh wait, I just did... PARADOX!!! DAAAAAAAAHHH

pizzaboterham's page activity

Visits<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:47pm<b>EverythingNerdy</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:36pm

pizzaboterham's FML badges

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pizzaboterham's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

by faceless_sailor8 / 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

by Username / 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm / United States / Work

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

by imnotacat / 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

by mymomsstupid / 06/29/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

by mk / 06/14/2011 at 2:08am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous