About pizzaboterham : Hello people who are reading this! Of hallo op z'n Hollands! I am pizzaboterham, or pizzabread in English.
Bye
Groetjes
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (2874)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (2874)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (7583)
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (23451)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:19am - misc - by American idol -
Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (3053)
On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (8638)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (2769)
On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5058)
On 02/27/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (5205)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (4840)
On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (2242)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (5072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (6329)
On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (3056)
On 12/19/2010 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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