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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4998) - you deserved it (2062)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8173) - you deserved it (1238)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (750)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1803) - you deserved it (5446)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2768) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6008) - you deserved it (713)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (1606)
On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (3309)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1356) - you deserved it (7878)
On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4381) - you deserved it (8329)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7241) - you deserved it (537)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1877) - you deserved it (8197)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4718) - you deserved it (2279)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1891) - you deserved it (5346)
On 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (13694)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)
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