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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121715) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53359) - you deserved it (586078)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55609) - you deserved it (324316)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (49877)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484665) - you deserved it (43565)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527908) - you deserved it (37912)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (6354)
On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33224) - you deserved it (6923)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6467) - you deserved it (28306)
On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4102) - you deserved it (36621)
On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57125) - you deserved it (14220)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -
Monday 20 May 2013
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