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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3085)
On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3085)
On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52532) - you deserved it (5139)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (8473)
On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (2891)
On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (3545)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (23072)
On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (2565)
On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5240) - you deserved it (41420)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (2545)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (3613)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by pennyhater (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (3678)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (2441)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56264) - you deserved it (1908)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40545) - you deserved it (3594)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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