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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14935) - you deserved it (1863)
On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3652)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13648) - you deserved it (2369)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17898) - you deserved it (4361)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (5804)
On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (2104)
On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (2202)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88155) - you deserved it (9128)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (9028)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54312) - you deserved it (4928)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (3960)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5778) - you deserved it (28648)
On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (4288)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (3405)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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