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picturescrazy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
by becca / 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm / United States / Love
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 1:33am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because…