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picturescrazy's favorite FMLs
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
by catlover / 12/13/2012 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML
by NotAnExcuse / 11/07/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally… Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said… Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm…