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petite_poptart

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petite_poptart
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1837
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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petite_poptart's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

#183630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78577) - you deserved it (11304)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52071) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
51 comments

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

#157992
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (10742)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16297) - you deserved it (48255)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239783) - you deserved it (56628)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66998) - you deserved it (403320)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90164) - you deserved it (6225)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

#127425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96662) - you deserved it (4069)

On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78098) - you deserved it (19393)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58792) - you deserved it (20293)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213807) - you deserved it (73286)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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