petite_poptart

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petite_poptart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2573
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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petite_poptart's page activity

Visits<b>sphen</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 10:05pm<b>tgd4444</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 2:45pm

petite_poptart's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

petite_poptart's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

by EPICfml. / 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

by Not so quick getaway. / 02/28/2009 at 2:55am / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

by caswell 1 / 02/28/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

by Rich / 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous