pet_virus

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pet_virus

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1972
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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pet_virus's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Dawminator</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:24am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:07pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:41pm<b>dzerzhinsky</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 2:31am<b>ponyjazzponyjazz</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 12:55am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 5:14am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 1:21pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 8:56pm<b>dancezen0503</b> - the 07/06/2009 at 12:20am<b>24788</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 11:46pm<b>Tyan_Zen</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:44pm<b>beatniksuperhero</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:23pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:06pm

pet_virus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pet_virus's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

by erin3809483 / 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

by ohhhman / 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm / United States / Work

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

by Tim / 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

by leez / 02/01/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous