Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pet_virus

Search for a member

pet_virus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1648
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pet_virus's page activity

Visits<b>Dawminator</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:24am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:07pm<b>dzerzhinsky</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 2:31am<b>ponyjazzponyjazz</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 12:55am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 5:14am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 1:21pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 8:56pm<b>dancezen0503</b> - the 07/06/2009 at 12:20am<b>24788</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 11:46pm<b>Tyan_Zen</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:44pm<b>beatniksuperhero</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:23pm

pet_virus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pet_virus's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48796) - you deserved it (16157)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45717) - you deserved it (11500)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

#2636104
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56619) - you deserved it (5195)

On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16741) - you deserved it (52313)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

#889248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69046) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (90410)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (85928)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71058) - you deserved it (18401)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64463) - you deserved it (2998)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84266) - you deserved it (31477)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (1401)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: