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pertained

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3598
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

pertained's page activity

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pertained's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72429) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106024) - you deserved it (7458)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (53167)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (5543)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (12129)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12606) - you deserved it (112903)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (24966)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (43804)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (2088)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (9025)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68013) - you deserved it (3964)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (55986)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (9293)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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