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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4307
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

pertained's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:11pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 5:17pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:27am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:24pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:00am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:28pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:50am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:32am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Xander1998</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:22pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:19pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:01am<b>ThatWeirdough</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:29pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>jojama321</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 9:53am

Fucked!<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 11:11pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:54am<b>choochee02</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:51am<b>Eivana</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:03am

pertained's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


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See all of pertained's badges

pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

by christiner / 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm / Work

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

by breathexali / 07/24/2010 at 6:50am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

by somuchforthat / 02/19/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

by dwek / 05/15/2009 at 7:07am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

by dammit_ / 02/16/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous