Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

pertained

Search for a member

pertained
  • Town/Country : Monteriggioni Villa, Italy
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3172
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

pertained's last visitors

herpaderpaherpMzJniccFrozenGridFreezeP1tchB14ckiDorkieRawrMajstr

pertained's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of pertained's badges

pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62543) - you deserved it (4543)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91160) - you deserved it (6399)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (41075)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (4299)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (9260)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (85406)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (18035)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10070) - you deserved it (32900)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (1726)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (2973)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (6951)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (7963)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: