About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62543) - you deserved it (4543)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91160) - you deserved it (6399)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (41075)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (4299)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (2467)
On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (9260)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (85406)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (18035)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10070) - you deserved it (32900)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (1726)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (7335)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (2973)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (6951)
On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (45367)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (7963)
On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
