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pertained

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3630
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

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Visits<b>yareens</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:48am<b>thepsychaddict</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:31pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:14am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:33am<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:23am<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:52pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:02am<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:59am<b>Dcaxcs</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:34am<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:13pm<b>jennahere</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:27pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:57am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:01am

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pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (16431)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (14181)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55499) - you deserved it (4263)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (63654)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

#16277369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (4113)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (63324)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17145) - you deserved it (51470)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3066)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

#15811389
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:56pm - misc - by Mahomie123 - United States

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44939) - you deserved it (17709)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (6351)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (31304)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (36442)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59479) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -



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