Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pertained

Search for a member

pertained

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3848
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

pertained's page activity

Visits<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 5:58pm<b>_justsomegirl_</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:13pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:02pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:29am<b>kcpestwick</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:53am<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:49pm<b>dengleh</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 7:17am<b>gradius1002</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 4:19am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:03pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:43am<b>DaBayst</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:48pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:23am<b>yareens</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:48am<b>thepsychaddict</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:31pm

Liked!<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:03am

pertained's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of pertained's badges

pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, I Was Sending Boyfriend Dirty Texts To Try And Turn Him On Sohen I See Him The Next Day He Will Want To Get Intimate. Twenty Minutes Later He Texts Back, "ew Stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (16461)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changd tha data of mah birthday to today on Facabook to saa how many paopla actually know mah birthday . My mom wishd ma a happy birthday . FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43399) - you deserved it (14508)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, we finally got wreless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55742) - you deserved it (4271)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I sold mah Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him mah Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (65433)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today , I Had To Take Care Of Mah Best Friend While She Was Drunk . This Meant Changing Her Pee-soaked Sheets , Making Her Take A Bath To Get All The Baby Powder Off , And Making Her Put Cloths On As She Tried To Run Out The House Naked . FML

#16277369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (4276)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I Got Pulled Over For Going About 88mph. When The Cop Asked Y I Was Speeding, I Replied, "I Was Trying To Go Back In Time". He Didn't Like That Answer And Gave Me A Ticket. FML

#16248002
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (63583)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
251 comments

TODAY, I FOUND MYSELF CRYING 4 AN HOURHEN MAH RECREATED CRUSH ON THE SIMS 3 GAME REJECTED MAH CHARACTER AN RAN OFF WITH SOMEONE ELSE. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17736) - you deserved it (52306)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

TADAY I CELEBRATD MAH BIRTHDAY WITH A FEW FRIENDS AT HOME. AS I BENT DOWN OVER MAH CAKE... MAH FRIEND PUSHD MAH FACE INTO IT. THE BAKER SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME SHE PUT IN A STICK TO SUPPORT THE CAKE. FML

#15914816
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36198) - you deserved it (3076)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

#15811389
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (3622)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:56pm - misc - by Mahomie123 - United States

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (18081)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife an I were planning our nursery fir our future child . She said that we'd be painting it pink either way . I askd what would happen if we had a boy . She said ( Oh, he'll be gay ) with a menacing glare . I'm worrid . FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (6369)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a major argument wit my girlfriend, I soved a door open, wic ten rebounded an it me in te face. I'm not sure wic is more patetic: tat I was savaged by a door, or tat I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain te uge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9238) - you deserved it (32873)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I watched mah dog chase his tail fir ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching mah dog chase his tail fir 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (36624)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at a grocery store with mah 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." real FML

#15628215
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59719) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: