pertained

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pertained

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4273
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About pertained : Hi, just your friendly neighbourhood assassin here. Move along.

pertained's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:11pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 5:17pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:27am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:24pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:00am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:28pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:50am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:32am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Xander1998</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:22pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:19pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:01am<b>ThatWeirdough</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:29pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>jojama321</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 9:53am

Fucked!<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 11:11pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:54am<b>choochee02</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:46pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:51am<b>Eivana</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:03am

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pertained's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

by Jake Whitte / 06/06/2011 at 9:50am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

by Derek Lee / 05/22/2011 at 9:53am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

by anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

by Mr. Headshot / 04/25/2011 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

by Mahomie123 / 04/16/2011 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

by ravenskater / 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm / Kids