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person961

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person961
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 725
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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person961's favorite FMLs

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (2717)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (3843)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (31562) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (18562)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30479) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (2162)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15830) - you deserved it (1321)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2024)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

#20069784
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5401) - you deserved it (16485)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (2490)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (4057)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (17377)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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