About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field
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Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (5584)
On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (5178)
On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (2172)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (2318)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50078) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (12635)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (2558)
On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (5028)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)
Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (2646)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18395) - you deserved it (3697)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (6014)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (32815)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (4384)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89514) - you deserved it (5453)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (3639)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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