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perfectflower

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perfectflower

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field

perfectflower's page activity

Visits<b>BL00DFLAME</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:06am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:40pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 5:06pm<b>damnangie</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 10:49am<b>Kyot3</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:16am<b>LadyMagdalyn</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:16am<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 10:54pm<b>UberNova</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:26pm

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perfectflower's favorite FMLs

Today, I decidd to spray tan myself . Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did . Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two bighite stripes on the back of my thighs . FML

#19399139
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5816) - you deserved it (32571)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada

My Boyfriend Told Me That He'd Never Made A Girl Orgasm. I Didn't Think Much Of It Until He Decidd To Go Down On Me. Every Time He Got Me Close To Orgasm, He'd Stop And Ask, "Are You About To Come?" Or "Does That Feel Good?" Now I Can Seehy He's Never Made A Girl Orgasm. FML

#19397932
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30708) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I Lerenedhy The Phrase "seafood Taco Salad" Terrifies Everyone In The School's Cafeteria . What Happend To Me After Eating It Made Saw III Look Lyk A Disney Movie . Mega FML

#19352692
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I found out that sax in tha woods is amazing. I also found that tha roar of a naarby baar will and tha amazamant. Not only was I cock blockad by a baar, I almost shit mysalf. big fat FML

#19323804
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (6486)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today... even though she can barely deal with raising kids... mah 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy... by a fourth man... of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, things were getting hot with mah boyfriend and I startd to breathe heavy and moan !! He then says to me, ( Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex running a marathon !! ) FML

#19039141
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (6631)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Was Wit Ma Boyfriend, An We Startd To Get A Little Kinky!! He Laid Me Down Rougly On Te Bd, But I Startd To Slide Off, So I Pulld Myself Up!! In Doing So, I Managd To Knee Im In Te Nut-sack, Causing Im To Puke!! Big Fat FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (7057)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

I walkd into my bathroom to fine my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (3221)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

yesterday as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid . Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him . FML

#18244836
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

today mah girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60064) - you deserved it (4791)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went over to mah friend's house . We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away . Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto mah knee . I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on mah boner . FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (17669)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of mah flat because mah drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside . FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I walkd in on mah boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star looool Trek. FML

#17657733
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (5807)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today I noticed how big my brother's package is . If it hadn't been 4 the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day I never would have had to . FML

#17594618
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (3754)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office an bitched me out 4 a good half hour 4 my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off an sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (4952)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)



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