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perfectflower

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perfectflower
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field

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perfectflower's favorite FMLs

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15850) - you deserved it (2577)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

#19546039
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (12784)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (21097)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (30603)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (2333)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16373) - you deserved it (8040)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8831) - you deserved it (47939)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11340) - you deserved it (27698)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34315)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12206) - you deserved it (20605)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)



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