About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field
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Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12876) - you deserved it (2309)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (1588)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (20331)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14838) - you deserved it (2396)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (3520)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (1781)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (3336)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16207) - you deserved it (853)
On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (31262)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6408) - you deserved it (16817)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm - animals - by ambushcat - United States
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12574) - you deserved it (1977)
On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (1888)
On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18162) - you deserved it (12544)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6662) - you deserved it (15203)
On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)
Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18119) - you deserved it (1245)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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