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perfectflower

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perfectflower

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field

perfectflower's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:06am<b>BL00DFLAME</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:40pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 5:06pm<b>damnangie</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 10:49am<b>Kyot3</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:16am<b>LadyMagdalyn</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:16am<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 10:54pm<b>UberNova</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:26pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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perfectflower's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (25372)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

#20069823
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (3957)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44403) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (7071)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16940) - you deserved it (67719)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (10408)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7893) - you deserved it (19748)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (4983)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (2102)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (8671)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML



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