About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field
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Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19199) - you deserved it (1132)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (19145)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (1403)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14402) - you deserved it (5406) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (1451)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (810)
On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5714) - you deserved it (26815)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (1566)
On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (17024)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (3095)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm - kids - by SerendipityRose - United States (California)
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14973) - you deserved it (3406)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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