perfectflower

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perfectflower

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1919
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field

perfectflower's page activity

Visits<b>firefighter925</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:44pm<b>BL00DFLAME</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:06am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:40pm<b>damnangie</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 10:49am<b>Kyot3</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 9:16am<b>LadyMagdalyn</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:16am<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 10:54pm<b>UberNova</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:26pm

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perfectflower's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

by dizzlewizzle / 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

by pchemist / 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

by IBleedArbor / 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

by herpderp / 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

by Jack / 02/01/2009 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

by gabess / 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

by AgathedeBlouse / 11/18/2008 at 1:42am / Animals