About perfectflower : Got any questions just ask I'm complicated I was and still am a belly dancer but I'm Hawaiian and I'm making my way through the medical field
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Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77207) - you deserved it (25535)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (322369) - you deserved it (28020)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88584) - you deserved it (4721)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107619) - you deserved it (9364)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72169) - you deserved it (11594)
On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73203) - you deserved it (7624)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72252) - you deserved it (3249)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59812) - you deserved it (7402)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (151231) - you deserved it (20822)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113785) - you deserved it (8495)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71525) - you deserved it (6765)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (470902) - you deserved it (584759)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72543) - you deserved it (24255)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (176929) - you deserved it (12107)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by shit_upon_literally (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40957) - you deserved it (8561)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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