penguin182

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Offline (the 07/11/2015 at 5:22pm)

penguin182

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3359
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About penguin182 : Well, I can't think of anything clever to write here, but follow me on Instagram; "lukaskagstroem"!

penguin182's page activity

Visits<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:30am<b>cakeski</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:54pm<b>musicmann97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:47am<b>bwhaha</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:08am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>seacadet</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:35pm<b>ladysemisex</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 10:47pm<b>sexygingah</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 8:11pm<b>Gurrrrrlq</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 7:33pm<b>kkmp</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Megan_xox</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:12am<b>panda_waffle22</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:52pm<b>theblueeyegirl</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:43pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ihateallofyou1</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:07pm<b>porkroll1212</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:40pm<b>squishylishy</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:51am<b>dillonfi</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:15am

penguin182's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of penguin182's badges

penguin182's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

by goingtothegym / 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

by unlucky neighbors / 12/06/2013 at 4:36am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

by nemesis5196523 / 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love