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penguin182

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penguin182
  • Town/Country : Strängnäs, Sweden
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 919
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About penguin182 : Well, I can't think of anything clever to write here, but follow me on Instagram; "lukaskagstroem"!

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penguin182's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed hysterically as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3524)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (9788)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (29827)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (31455)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (5042)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (4813)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (8228)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42759) - you deserved it (9466)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (26070)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (5766)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49623) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (6596)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (2834)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (20723)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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