About penguin182 : I like Turtles, Rock, Girls and to sleep... :P
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (876)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (2090) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (1011)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (2679)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (1758)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7923) - you deserved it (21781)
On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (35918)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4326) - you deserved it (30644)
On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (20207)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (5061)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15993) - you deserved it (3525)
On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15993) - you deserved it (3525)
On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7737) - you deserved it (21736)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (1008)
On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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