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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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penecow290

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penecow290
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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penecow290's favorite FMLs

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

#16852326 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (2641)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (23454)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (3269)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window down and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (3983)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (4232) - you deserved it (21529)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

#13969398 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (16268)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

#13948929 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you deserved it (1808)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by paradox - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

#13857335 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (5123)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (9218)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (2696)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)