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pencilsupmynose

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pencilsupmynose

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  • Number of visits : 2349
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pencilsupmynose's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12601) - you deserved it (43903)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59473) - you deserved it (3645)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14619) - you deserved it (54701)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

#11943305
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (53113)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm - misc - by knighton16 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

#11895645
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you deserved it (2627)

On 07/15/2010 at 6:52am - misc - by photonut13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

#11867771
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you deserved it (60384)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by Eyefreshener (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49936) - you deserved it (4169)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (36143)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (36143)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (9798)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (9798)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33391) - you deserved it (4306)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8214) - you deserved it (63395)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)



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