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pencilsupmynose

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pencilsupmynose

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  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pencilsupmynose's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (3548)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (33341)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

#12212564
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by anne (woman) - Canada

Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn't work. FML

#12198521
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12667) - you deserved it (29347)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by rosesareyellow - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (11140)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (3272)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (19221)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (68181)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16825) - you deserved it (25045)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (3162)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9920) - you deserved it (32838)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

#12072819
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (6814)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

#12071239
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:06pm - health - by fiery (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12601) - you deserved it (43901)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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