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pencilsupmynose

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pencilsupmynose

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  • Number of visits : 2154
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pencilsupmynose's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

#14494706
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (26227)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:24am - kids - by G-6 -

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7956) - you deserved it (41766)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11428) - you deserved it (52215)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (7475)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (4993)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (50438)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (50438)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (58915)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (2600)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (3165)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -



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