pencilsupmynose

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pencilsupmynose

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3336
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pencilsupmynose's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:53am

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pencilsupmynose's favorite FMLs

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

by Alec / 06/15/2011 at 5:02am / United States / Health

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

by Sarah / 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

by Username / 01/08/2011 at 2:01am / United States / Geek

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

by poop / 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work