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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (3165)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (1391)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11054) - you deserved it (2929)
On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11054) - you deserved it (2929)
On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4798) - you deserved it (22553)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13788) - you deserved it (6717)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (1180)
On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (1180)
On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (6411)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (1202)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (19406)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6288) - you deserved it (23226)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11723) - you deserved it (17954)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14820) - you deserved it (2024)
On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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