pbonham

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Offline (the 02/23/2015 at 1:15am)

pbonham

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10280
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About pbonham : My dog likes to sun bake and I like to play basketball

pbonham's page activity

Visits<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:23pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:41am<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:28am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Myorafield</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 5:54am<b>mexicanbro</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:50am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:29pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:31pm<b>sam_cat</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:02am<b>AFewFishes</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:31am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:04pm<b>inulover8969</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:26pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:59am<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:01pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 10:52am<b>swell_belle</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:45pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:33pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:24pm

pbonham's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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pbonham's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

by can't sleep / 03/18/2014 at 4:36am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

by naesha / 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.