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paxpervitam

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paxpervitam

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  • Number of visits : 411
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paxpervitam's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (18348)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5868) - you deserved it (59629)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (8159)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (26756)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (8943)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45960) - you deserved it (14699)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35411) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (5286)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

#13302610
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:59am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16873) - you deserved it (39935)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40258) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (4107)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36975) - you deserved it (4283)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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