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paulhawkes

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paulhawkes
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 94
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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paulhawkes's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

#5124276
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (8871)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:12am - money - by Dopeydancer (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

#1489394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (81215)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (98723)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169211) - you deserved it (13632)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77130) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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