About patwmm : The first thing I do when I wake up is open the FML app and start my day with a smile.
patwmm's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
patwmm's favorite FMLs
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
by Emily / 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm / France (Auvergne) / Love
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
by KaraAnn17 / 02/12/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by AMIGODO / 02/12/2011 at 10:13am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy
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