patwmm

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patwmm

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About patwmm : The first thing I do when I wake up is open the FML app and start my day with a smile.

patwmm's page activity

Visits<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:21am<b>McPerrier</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:11am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:04am<b>gjuan93</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:51am<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:16am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:59pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:53pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:19pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:13pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:15pm<b>Killa_Comin</b> - the 03/02/2011 at 3:01pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 10:15am<b>Ashaytes</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 5:09pm

Fucked!<b>dno79</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:22pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:16am

patwmm's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of patwmm's badges

patwmm's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

by Emily / 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm / France (Auvergne) / Love

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

by KaraAnn17 / 02/12/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

by AMIGODO / 02/12/2011 at 10:13am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy