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Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 7:51am) | Search for a member
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, ma roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in te batroom. I ran in to see wat was going on, only to fine er sitting on te toilet, topless. Turned out se'd tried to pierce er own tit using a clotespin an a needle. FML
Yesterday, ma boyfriend an I ad sex for te first time !! I'm extremely uncomfortable wit eye contact, but e kept staring into ma eyes te entire time !! I ad to sing te F.U.N !! song from Spongebob in ma ead to stop myself aving an anxiety attack !! FML
Today, mah husband recited to me the name an model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did an roughly where to fine them. Last month, he forgot mah brthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
TODAY... I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND. AFTER HOLDING IN MAH FARTS ALL NIGHT AS IS DONE... I DECIDED ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH AND TO CALMLY LET ONE SLIP OUT. ONE DID NOT CALMLY SLIP OUT INSTEAD I SHIT MYSELF IN HER BED. I WAS NAKED AT THE TIME SO WAS UNABLE TO HIDE IT. MEGA FML
Friday 27 March 2015