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patchyu

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patchyu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1500
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (14257)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49870) - you deserved it (3671)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52103) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (5284)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49342) - you deserved it (5494)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57777) - you deserved it (7998)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (3525)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56550) - you deserved it (3950)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45586) - you deserved it (8978)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50133) - you deserved it (8408)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53200) - you deserved it (8974)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (5306)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (4127)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54435) - you deserved it (6712)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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