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patchyu

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patchyu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (5724)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (4063)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (3949)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

#21066280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (4592)

On 02/20/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (16943)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (6338)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (39598)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52384) - you deserved it (7833)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50974) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (7782)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47520) - you deserved it (8041)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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