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patchyu

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2220
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (3240)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (2887)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (5066)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (38733)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (1815)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (2028)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (3642)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (3685)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
106 comments

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (2301)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (2756)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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