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patchyu's favorite FMLs
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work
by padthaimeanoose / 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/17/2015 at 3:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Steve97 / 07/13/2015 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy
by okaydisarray / 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
by sickatwokr / 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/30/2015 at 3:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…