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patchyu

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patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2118
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (8238)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49709) - you deserved it (4202)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (36188)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (5040)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

#21348979
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/03/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by wtfdaughter - Brazil (Pernambuco)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (2527)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (13167)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (4658)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (6743)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)



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