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patchyu

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patchyu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1487
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37542) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43813) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (4515)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47372) - you deserved it (4715)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (13777)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (5127)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49254) - you deserved it (7790)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (4917)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (25782)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51610) - you deserved it (21092)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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