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patchyu's favorite FMLs
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work
by padthaimeanoose / 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/17/2015 at 3:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Steve97 / 07/13/2015 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy
by okaydisarray / 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
by sickatwokr / 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/30/2015 at 3:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
- Today, I went bikini shopping after much convincing, not because I'm fat, but because my boobs are… Today, I'm sitting in a meeting with HR all because my drawer was short and my personal account was… Today, my science teacher called me down during class. He told me my grade was horrible and that my…