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patchyu

Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2471
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
164 comments

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

#21459209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (7688)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:18am - intimacy - by fuck no (woman) - India (Kerala)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (1900)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

#21456680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (1667)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

#21455220
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (2328)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

#21452257
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (14501)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

#21451161
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (2044)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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