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patchyu

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patchyu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1137
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47045) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54373) - you deserved it (6703)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53085) - you deserved it (8399)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51837) - you deserved it (7190)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (5070)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50030) - you deserved it (18164)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (4261)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (363) - you deserved it (18794)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (3574)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45199) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48608) - you deserved it (4419)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43569) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (4114)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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