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patchyu

Offline (the 07/27/2015 at 5:51pm) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2177
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (3024)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (5037)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (2422)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (3239)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (5065)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (37585)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (1814)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (2026)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (3236)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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