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patchyu

Offline (the 05/24/2015 at 5:39am) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2070
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (2495)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (37530)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (1810)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (2022)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (3230)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

#21388711
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30647) - you deserved it (2064)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by therewasnocurtain - United States (Idaho)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27185) - you deserved it (2318)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (3124)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)



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