Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patchyu

Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2473
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

patchyu's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of patchyu's badges

patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML

Today, my friend explained that his internship was clearly worse than mine because he got yelled at by clients. One of my clients ripped out my hair. FML

#21488556
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (1419)

On 11/04/2015 at 9:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

#21487219
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/02/2015 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

#21485980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/29/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by GonnaLockUpMySpices (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

#21485553
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm - misc - by MyLegsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

#21485396
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

#21485280
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/28/2015 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

#21483973
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

#21483617
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (5737) - Translated from the version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Walter (man) - Spain

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

#21482505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (4400)

On 10/21/2015 at 7:18am - intimacy - by neilmalik - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

#21481744
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/19/2015 at 7:10am - animals - by bluebelle - Australia

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

#21481410
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (5213)

On 10/18/2015 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

#21480774
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19903) - you deserved it (16018)

On 10/16/2015 at 2:04pm - work - by Namaslayed (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: