patchyu

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 5:21am)

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2575
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

patchyu's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of patchyu's badges

patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, my older brother called me ugly, and so I used the classic comeback ''It's not nice to talk about yourself like that." He responded by cutting the strings to my violin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 8:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 10:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

by sister of an angry nerd / 12/23/2015 at 1:09am / Geek

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

by who wants spaghetti / 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

by cole66 / 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

by single and hatless / 11/27/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

by AlwaysTired / 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

by ugh, why / 11/22/2015 at 12:12am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:48pm / United States / Health

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 9:50am / Canada / Health

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

by Nuts / 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids