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patchyu's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 8:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 10:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by sister of an angry nerd / 12/23/2015 at 1:09am / Geek
Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
by who wants spaghetti / 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by cole66 / 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by single and hatless / 11/27/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
by AlwaysTired / 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by ugh, why / 11/22/2015 at 12:12am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:48pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 9:50am / Canada / Health
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
by Nuts / 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because…