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patchyu

Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

patchyu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2469
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, my older brother called me ugly, and so I used the classic comeback ''It's not nice to talk about yourself like that." He responded by cutting the strings to my violin. FML

#21507848
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (2661)

On 12/25/2015 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

#21506772
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/23/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by sister of an angry nerd -

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (1940)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

#21504620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm - kids - by who wants spaghetti - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

#21498195
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (2723)

On 11/29/2015 at 1:43pm - intimacy - by cole66 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

#21497654
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (2061)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:46pm - love - by single and hatless (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

#21497646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm - misc - by AlwaysTired - United States (California)

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

#21495924
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (4149)

On 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hiitisbrooke - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

#21495359
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by ugh, why (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

#21494880
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (2373)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:48pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

#21493972
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21267) - you deserved it (1602)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

#21490908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (1628)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

#21489395
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Nuts (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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