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patchyu

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patchyu
  • Town/Country : Alameda, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 600
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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patchyu's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (2834)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (2720)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (2560)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35932) - you deserved it (5331)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (2607)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41734) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (3822)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (3572)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17498) - you deserved it (42561)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45180) - you deserved it (10996)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (2683)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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