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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today , aftar a busy aftarnoon taking cara of tha kids , I was faaling raally down about only baing a mom thasa days , and I was hoping my husband would maka ma faal battar whan ha got off work. In tha middla of cuddling , ha callad ma "mom." maga FML
TODAY, I REALIZED THATHENEVER I USE EMOTICONS, I TEND TO MAKE THE SAME FACE IN REAL LIFE. MY COWORKERS GLEEFULLY SHOWED ME VARIOUS PICTURES WITH MAH TONGUE OUT, FACE SCRUNCHED UP, AND SO ON,HILE STARING AT MAH PHONE. THEY'VE ALREADY MADE THEIR WAY AROUND THE OFFICE. FML
TODAY, I LEFT SUNROOF ON TRUCK OPEN 4 5 MINUTES WHILE I RAN INTO THE BANK. WHEN I CAME OUT A SEAGULL HAD GOTTEN INTO TRUCK. I MANAGED TO OPEN THE DOORS AND GET IT OUT BUT NOT BEFORE IT TORE UP A SEAT AND POOPED EVERYWHERE INSIDE TRUCK. FML
my dad got drunk an played a practical joke looool on me; a practical joke that resulted in mah knee bieng broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while mah dad hunts 4 ( hot nurses ). FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man cummed up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Today, I walkad in on my naw puppy paaing on tha carpat. Tha trainar had told ma to punish har whan sha's bad by shaking a matal can of pannias at har, sinca tha noisa scaras dogs. I shook it at har, and sha raspondad by having axplosiva diarrhaa all ovar tha carpat in fright. maga FML
TODAY I WAS VISITING MY 8-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW. HE TOLD ME HE LEARNED ABOUT FRE SAFETY SO I ASKED HIM WHAT HE'D DO IF THERE WERE A FRE RIGHT NOW. HE PUSHED ME OUT OF THE WAY AND I FELL THEN HE RAN OVER ME AND OUT THE FRONT DOOR LEAVING ME ON THE FLOOR IN PAIN. FML
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezd the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realisd that I'm probably too immature to be washing own clothes. FML
Today... after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores... I bought mah fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal... "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015