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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (2390)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (3590)
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (10740)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14960) - you deserved it (4616)
On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (1355)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (1324)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (10657)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14402) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15349) - you deserved it (2770)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13938) - you deserved it (25292)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13625) - you deserved it (2628)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15028) - you deserved it (1411)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6662) - you deserved it (15201)
On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39874) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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